Man, Im not going to ask which, he said. Never mind.
He leaned his head on Jims shoulder.
This feels really strange, he said awkwardly. I dont mean necessarily laying here with you. I mean laying here naked and sweaty and you still completely dressed. Not to mention probably really uncomfortable under those jeans. Im not used to leaving my partners high and dry, you know.
Jim smiled and stroked Blairs hair.
Dont worry about it, he said.
Well Blair hesitated, then propped himself up on one elbow to gaze into Jims eyes. I mean, what happens now?
Are we waxing philosophical about our relationship, or are we talking immediate chain of events here, Chief? he said gently.
Right now Im thinking immediate chain of events, Blair said.
Jim traced the line of Blairs eyebrow with his fingertip.
I told you, he said quietly. You decide what happens next.
Blair hesitated, and Jim grabbed him and suddenly flipped them over so that Blair was lying on his back once more, Jim leaning over him.
Lets not meander all over the place with this one like we did after-sex comments, Jim grinned. If you can manage it, Chief, Id like one specific affirmative statement, something beginning along the lines of Jim, I would like to or Jim, I would like you to sort of thing. Can you manage that, Chief?
Blair licked his lips.
Jim, I would like us to go upstairs to your bed.
Good start, Jim said, nodding. And then?
And then Id like to see you naked.
Very good, you managed to skirt the issue of whether I undress or you undress me, and you did it really neatly, he said. Okay. And then?
And then Id like to talk and cuddle Blair grinned. Cuddle as in cuddle as well as cuddle as in foreplay until I get hard again.
That shouldnt take too long, knowing you, Jim said amusedly. And then?
And then Blair licked his lips again, his eyes on Jims. if you want to, and if we, you know, can, and if you dont think itll hurt too much, Id like you to fuck me.
Jim breathed in sharply, pleasurably. Hed never expected Blair to offer, at least not so early in their relationship, if at all.
I think it sounds like a plan, Jim said, a little unsteadily. But, Blair, Ive got two conditions on that.
Blair raised his eyebrows.
Jim traced the outline of Blairs lips this time.
Since youre giving me your virginity, he said softly, another time when youre ready I want you to take mine. Ive never been fucked. Will you do that for me?
Blair shivered and his eyes grew darker again. Jim felt a stirring against his leg and marveled to himself. God, Chief, youre going to kill me.
Id love to, Blair said, that wide-eyed wonder back in his voice. With some coaching.
All the coaching you want, Jim promised.
Whats the other condition? Blair reminded him.
Oh, yeah. Jim grinned. That we go take a shower, and either you wash yourself, or you let me wash you, real thoroughly. As youve observed on several occasions, Im a real stickler for cleanliness.
I think I can go along with that, he said simply. Actually that fits in neatly with the whole nakedness thing. Naked and dripping wet would definitely be a bonus.
Blair ran the back of his fingers across his chin and grimaced.
Uh, want to give me ten minutes to shave and brush my teeth and so on?
Go for it, he said. Itll save me the embarrassment of trying to explain beard burn at the station tomorrow.
When Blair disappeared into the bathroom, Jim snagged a few of Blairs candles, then dashed upstairs to light the candles and hurriedly put fresh sheets on the bed. For a moment he wistfully wished he owned satin sheets, but that seemed a little funky anyway Blair just wasnt a satin-sheet kind of guy. But he did have flannel soft, warm plaid flannel. Perfect. Blair was definitely a flannel kind of guy. He laid out the lube and the small box of baby wipes hed bought.
He opened the box of condoms and pulled out a strip, frowning. If Blair really felt the same as Jim did, and this relationship was it, then Jim really needed to have the condom talk with Blair sooner or later, preferably sooner. Wearing a condom for any prolonged period tended to leave Jim with an ugly, painful rash on sensitive skin. Up till now, the risks of unprotected sex had always forced a hard choice on Jim forego the sex, or live with the condom aftereffects. Blair had occasionally teased Jim about his sparse dating life, but he probably would have ribbed Jim unmercifully if hed known just how seldom those dates ended in more than kissing and cuddling.
Of course, he couldnt blame that infrequency solely on condom-induced rashes. Sex with Jim Ellison since his Sentinel senses had re-emerged carried a lot of complications, complications that more and more frequently made sex simply not worth the trouble.
Okay, first there was the condom thing. There were also a host of other chemical sensitivity problems, i.e. spermicides, potpourri, air fresheners, perfumes, hair care products, and even some kinds of lube, with effects ranging from Oh, shit, the colonel just went on disability to allergic reactions to outright disaster. One lovely, considerate ladys feminine deodorant had given Jim the equivalent of an asthma attack when he went down on her. He had narrowly avoided a 911 call on that one.
Then there were the other problems, the ones harder to explain than chemical sensitivity. Hed never actually completely zoned on a partner, but one lady had gotten a little rattled when Jim had spent fifteen minutes intensely contemplating the freckles on her breasts.
More alarming were the glimpses of his more primal side. Hed only been with a man once since his Sentinel senses had re-emerged, but that once had been enough. In the height of passion hed found himself actually growling as he drove into his partner (considerably more roughly than hed meant to), and at the moment of climax hed barely restrained himself from biting his shoulder. Theyd joked about it afterward, but Jim had avoided men instinctively since that time; he could only pray that nothing of the sort happened with Blair. Blair would probably explain it away as a sort of dominance struggle.
If, of course, hed told Blair about it. Which of course he hadnt; he hadnt told Blair any of it. It wasnt that he really worried that it would end up in Blairs dissertation; the plain fact of the matter was that he simply couldnt talk about sex with Blair. He couldnt sit there facing the man he loved and wanted more than hed ever loved or wanted anybody in his life, sit there and talk about his sex life with other people, maybe hear anecdotes from Blairs own love life, squirm while Blair pried embarrassing details out of him and analyzed them uh-uh, no way, nohow.
But now it was Blair coming to his bed, his Guide, his partner, his best friend, his soulmate, and now his lover. The one. And that meant that at least to some extent, and at some point, Jim would have to bite the bullet and tell Blair about some of the baggage he was sharing his bed with.
Jims head jerked up. He was so on edge that Blairs soft voice from inside the bathroom might as well have been screamed over a bullhorn.
Want to come take a shower with me?
Oh my God. The question hed heard a thousand times in his dearest fantasies. The mere words nearly sent him spinning out of control. Blair. Naked. Warm. Wet. Slippery. Jim felt the IQ points draining from his brain along with most of his blood supply, rushing into his cock. Jim wiped drool off his chin, adjusted himself inside his pants before he did himself a permanent injury, and followed his rigidly pointing erection downstairs.
Blair was standing in the bathroom doorway, gloriously, casually naked.
I thought maybe you were undressing, he said a little shyly, and Jim realized amazedly that he was still dressed. True, those were pants that had nearly maimed him. You know? Shower? Naked?
Sorry about that, Jim said sheepishly. He stripped hurriedly, dropping his clothes in the hamper. He could almost feel Blairs eyes traveling over his body.
Oh, man, Blair said, very softly, and Jim looked up to see his Guide gazing at him with something very like awe. Oh, man, Jim, you are so
So what? Jim muttered, his face flaming.
Blair shook his head wonderingly.
Just so he said. Oh, man. He smiled. I got a look at you on the oil tanker, you know, but it was hardly a glimpse, and as usual we got interrupted by somebody pointing a gun at us. God, I have never faced imminent death with such a hard-on in my life.
Then he flushed.
All right, all right, Im babbling again, he said. Can we shower already?
Jim chuckled and stepped around Blair, turning the shower on and adjusting the temperature. He stepped in, then turned around to realize that Blair had been standing there staring, presumably at his ass.
Coming, Chief? Jim said mildly, holding the shower curtain open.
Pretty damned close, Blair mumbled. He hesitated before stepping into the shower.
Having second thoughts? Jim asked softly. Blair shook his head and stepped in.
Not me, man, he said, just as softly. But when you came down with all your clothes on, I kind of thought you were.
Not second thoughts, just Jim hesitated. There are things I should probably tell you
Oh, boy, Blair chuckled. You hate that too, huh?
Excuse me? Jim asked, pausing with soap in hand.
The coy part of the getting-to-know-you process, Blair said, taking the soap from Jim and lathering it briskly. Wherein you try to find all kinds of roundabout ways to ask about the things you want and need to know, and try to find tactful ways of telling your partner the things you want them to know. Okay. Ill make it easy.
He firmly turned Jim around to face the wall and began lathering Jims back, miracle of miracles scrubbing nice and hard the way Jim liked it.
Lets see, he said. Communicable diseases, none. Blood tests negative from the get-go, no past unsafe encounters. Major turn-offs include bad breath, playing country/western, Rap or opera during sex, partners who arent honestly enthusiastic in bed, peach flavored anything, and candle wax. You wouldnt even believe how hard that stuff is to get out of chest hair. Major turn-ons I like lots of feedback during sex, verbal and/or nonverbal, scalp massages, foot massages hell, any kind of massages, thunderstorms, good jazz, whipped cream. Major erogenous zones besides the obvious, backs of my knees, the small of my back, earlobes oh, yeah, nape of my neck, thats a new one that you cleverly discovered. Ummm. Sexual repertoire. My mottos always been been there, done that, but since Im now walking an unfamiliar side of the street, I guess that doesnt apply. Ill try just about anything once okay, twice if it doesnt involve children or animals or digestive by-products. Favorite position not applicable. Favorite act, ditto. What turns me on the most about you physically Blair paused thoughtfully, then washed slowly down over Jims buttocks. Wow. Its an impressive package altogether, cant say I can pick a particular part, but now that Ive seen you naked I plan to spend a whole lot of time exploring my choices. What else really turns me on about you its kind of a tossup between the idea of your senses I mean, applying them to sex and your strength. I kind of get the shivers imagining a lover who could just pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and ravage me like a caveman, which also coincides with my favorite fantasy about you.
Jim sucked his breath in, turned around in the shower and pulled Blair against him hard, growling softly.
Ooooh, you brute, Blair laughed in a high, fake falsetto, batting his eyelashes. Jim groaned and released him.
Okay, your turn, Blair said, lathering Jims chest.
My turn what? Jim blinked. You still have the soap.
No, your turn to spill the beans, Blair said.
Oh. Jim thought. Diseases, none; blood tests, regularly and negative. Im afraid my sex life predates the beginning of the safe-sex era, but that was long enough ago that it also predated AIDS. Turn-offs. Hmmm. Poor personal hygiene of any sort, too much makeup or perfume or cologne or whatever, lack of honesty in bed, that awful falsetto you just did oh, yeah, feminine hygiene spray.
Not much to worry about there, buddy, he said. Go on.
Jim shivered as Blairs hands drifted toward dangerous territory.
Major turn-ons. Wow. Your voice, your hands, your smile, your hair
Do I sense a pattern forming here? Blair chuckled. Come on, any non-Blair-specific turn-ons?
A few, Jim admitted. Really, really light strokes over my skin, almost tickling.
Like this? Blair said, his fingers tracing lightly up Jims chest. He was answered when Jim moaned, throwing his head back, and his nipples hardened. Ooookayyyy, I think I got it.
And chocolate-covered strawberries. Jim blushed. Cant help it. Its an addiction. Uh. Major erogenous zones. It kind of depends how well Im doing with my senses. If Im in good control of them at the moment, enough to turn up touch a little, just about everywhere on my body. If things are out of whack, sometimes nothing works. Sexual repertoire. Um. That could get embarrassing. I bet Ive been there, done that more than you have not quantity, probably, but scope. Limits about the same as yours except I dont have anything against peaches or candle wax
Blairs eyebrows shot up and Jim blushed deeper.
What? he said defensively. Do you see any chest hair here? Anyway. Moving right along. Favorite position with another man well, Ive never been fucked, but as far as fucking goes, I guess its a tossup between me kneeling upright and my partner straddling my legs, leaning back against me, and my partner on his back, legs over my shoulders. Favorite act hmmm. Wow. I cant say I have a favorite. It depends too much on who Im with and the mood of the moment. What turns me on the most about you physically see turn-ons list. Fantasies Jim grinned. Well, one of thems coming true right now. Gimme the soap.
He took his time lathering Blair from head to toe, caressing that beautiful, perfect body with the sponge, then tossed the sponge aside and went back over Blair with his hands, memorizing every centimeter. Blair moaned pitifully when Jims hands caressed his soapy erection. When Jim cupped Blairs buttocks gently, pulling him close, Blair clutched at Jims shoulders and let his head fall back, unabashedly rubbing himself hard against Jim. Their bodies were slick with soap and slid easily against each other, and for a moment the sheer presence of his slippery wet Guide against his body was almost too much for Jim. He groaned and licked his way up the side of Blairs throat, never mind the soap, and didnt realize he was digging his fingers into Blairs buttocks until Blair suddenly stiffened.
Ow, ow, ow, Jim, tattoo
It took Jims lust-fogged brain a few seconds to translate; then he hurriedly released Blair.
Oh, man, Chief, Im sorry, he breathed. Did I hurt?
Um, a little, Blair admitted. I mean, its kind of sore, you know.
Let me see. Jim firmly turned Blair around and knelt, gently kissing the tattoo my mark then running his tongue over it lightly. Better?
Ohhhh, maaaaaan, Blair groaned, shivering.
Then Jim smelled a slight chemical odor, very, very faint, where he least expected it, and stood up, kissing the back of Blairs shoulder.
Blair, I smell did you
Blair nodded, his blush traveling all the way around to the back of his neck.
I saw it in the bag from the drugstore, he said shyly. I thought I was supposed to. I used that packet of solution that came with it, but then I thought about you and chemicals, so I did it again with plain water.
Oh, Blair, Jim whispered, overwhelmed. Have you ever
Oh, baby. Jim kissed the back of Blairs neck. I bought that for myself, in case you wanted to go that way. It never even occurred to me that youd oh, Chief. You shouldve asked me to help you.
I can read instruction leaflets, Blair said a little defensively. And I thought that was what you meant back at the stakeout when you said that about preparatory cleanup.
Oh, Blair, Jim whispered again, fighting to keep his voice steady. The thought of Blair preparing himself for Jim, cleaning himself for oh God. Jim swallowed hard, his arousal so great that for a moment it was almost painful. He kissed the back of Blairs neck again, nuzzled it. Blair moaned as Jim rubbed his erection over Blairs slippery buttocks.
Jim? Blairs voice was tentative.
What? Jim muttered, still nuzzling.
Uh, Jim, is it just me or are you growling?
Instantly Jim stepped back, fighting down a wave of panic. He was so hard it hurt; arousal was a red rim around his vision. He hurriedly turned around to face the shower, letting the water run over him, glad that Blair couldnt see his face.
Why dont you dry off and go on upstairs? Jim suggested as evenly as he could. Make yourself comfortable. Ill be up in just a minute.
Jim? Jim felt Blair turn around behind him; then Blairs hands rested on his shoulders. Is something wrong? God, your muscles are knotted up so tight Blair started massaging his shoulders, which didnt help Jims problem at all.
No, Im all right, Jim said, breathing deeply. I just need to uh calm down a little bit before we go any further.
Calm down? Blair stepped around to Jims side, then glanced down at the throbbing length of Jims erection. Oh, man, I didnt even think this whole evenings been sheer torture for you, hasnt it?
You have no idea, Jim muttered.
Well, lets see what we can do about Blair began, reaching for the throbbing length.
No! Jim interrupted, grabbing Blairs wrist. Then, more quietly, Dont.
Whats the matter, Jim? Blair said cautiously, the slight tone of hurt in his voice sending a spear of pain through Jims heart. I thought you wanted me.
I do. Jim took a deep, ragged breath. God, I do. But theres things we need to talk about. Im just afraid Im Im not very much in control of myself right now.
Well, duh, no wonder, Blair chuckled, moving around in front of Jim. With a three or four-hour-old erection Id be leaving claw marks on stainless steel. Cmere. He pulled Jims head down, his lips warm and moist against Jims.
Blair Jim tried again.
Shhhh. Blairs hot breath fanned Jims face, and that was it; Jim moaned and surrendered, buried his fingers in Blairs hair and his tongue in Blairs mouth and his entire being in the sheer presence of his Guide, and when Blairs fingers finally clasped his aching sex he only moaned into Blairs mouth and thrust helplessly into the soapy hand. It had been a long time for him, and he was wound up so tightly that it hardly took any time at all before he cried out hoarsely and came all over Blairs hand and both their bellies; if he hadnt been so utterly relieved, both physically and mentally, that nothing had gone wrong, Jim probably would have been tremendously embarrassed. As matters stood, however, he was more than willing to take this gift at face value and simply stood under the rapidly cooling water, leaning wearily against Blair as he trembled out the last aftershocks of pleasure.
Hey, Big Guy, Blair murmured quietly against Jims shoulder, pressing a little kiss there. Far be it for me to interrupt your afterglow here, but if we dont get rinsed off and out of this shower, man, youre going to end up with one frigid bedmate.
Jim actually managed a laugh at that one, and they hastily rinsed and dried off, and Jim half smothered Blair in his bathrobe that hung conveniently in the bathroom. Blair pulled out his comb, and Jim neatly plucked it out of his hand.
Let me? he asked softly, and Blair nodded, his eyes shining.
It was harder than it looked, conditioner notwithstanding. Jim didnt want to admit to Blair that he had never, in his entire life, combed anybodys hair but his own and, when they were children, his younger brother Stevens. Certainly never anybody with long hair. But there was something about the intimacy of even this commonplace act that very much attracted him. Or maybe that was just his excuse for the chance to play with that beautiful curly mess.
Uh, Jim? Blair said softly. No offense, man, but what are you doing?
Jim chuckled abashedly.
Playing with your hair, he admitted. Sorry. Want to go upstairs?
Blair took a deep breath and gave Jim that thousand-watt smile, the one that always weakened Jims knees but produced an amazing solidity elsewhere, and proceeded to all but drag Jim up the stairs.
Once in Jims bedroom, however, Blair stopped, suddenly losing some of his self-confidence. He glanced around, taking in the candles, the turned-down bed. He glanced at the lube, wipes and condoms on the nightstand and flushed, and Jim damned himself angrily. There was such a thing as being too well prepared.
Hey, Chief, take it easy, Jim said, sliding his arms around Blair from behind. Nothing has to happen. Tonights already been more than I ever expected. If we can just lie here and talk, you have no idea how thrilled Ill be.
Blair grinned hesitantly.
Man, you do have a way of dangling the irresistible in front of me, he said. You offering to talk how can I possibly pass that up? He leaned his head back against Jims shoulder, belying his flippant tone.
You want to take this off? Jim murmured, tugging gently at the robe. If youre too cold, you could get under the covers.
Blair glanced over his shoulder at Jim almost shyly.
Would you keep me warm? he said softly.
Just try and stop me, Jim said, sliding one hand inside the open front of the robe to caress Blairs chest; simultaneously he nuzzled the nape of Blairs neck, softly licking the skin. Blair moaned.
Oh, man, thats so not fair, Blair panted. Youre wicked, man. Come on, Jim, cool down for a minute. I want to talk to you, okay?
Jim sighed to himself. Blair was right, but that didnt mean he didnt want to avoid the subject.
Okay, he said reluctantly. Youre right.
Jim released Blair and slid into bed, patting the mattress beside him. Blair smiled and dropped his robe, climbing into bed beside Jim. Jim flipped the covers up over him and was delighted when Blair scooted close against Jims warm skin.
So talk to me, Blair said softly. What was that business downstairs?
Jim cleared his throat uncomfortably.
Um. Well, theres something about this whole Sentinel business Ive never uh felt comfortable telling you, I guess.
Oh, wow, now thats a surprise, Blair chuckled. Jim Ellison not confiding fully in his Guide. Wow. Dont shock me too hard, Big Guy.
Im not joking, Jim said, a little more sharply than hed meant to.
Ouch, Blair said softly. Sorry, Jim. I didnt mean to never mind. Maybe youd better just tell me.
Its about sex, Jim mumbled.
I kind of figured that, Blair said gently. Go on. Its okay. I wont joke anymore, Jim. I promise. I know its not funny.
Jim took a deep breath and sat up on the edge of the bed. Somehow he wasnt comfortable lying next to Blair anymore.
I have a lot of I dont know, I guess Id call them allergies, he said. Most of them probably arent an issue. But some lubes, most spermicides that nonoxynol-9 stuff is the worst.
Wow, Blair said softly. That must make using a condom pretty complicated.
Jim cleared his throat.
Uh, speaking of that
Problem with latex? Blair guessed.
Jim nodded sheepishly.
Bad rashes, he admitted.
Wow, Blair said again. What about those new polyurethane ones?
Blair shook his head sympathetically.
How do you manage, then? I mean, you said
Jim grinned sheepishly.
You promise you wont tease me about it?
Jim, man, I swear, Blair said seriously.
Jim opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a small case, handing it to Blair.
Oh, yeah, Ive seen these natural-membrane things, Blair said, nodding. Then he frowned. But I thought they werent as effective against STDs.
They arent, Jim said. I wear one of those and put the latex condom over it. He blushed. That is, after I uh
After what? Blair asked.
Jim cleared his throat awkwardly.
I uh wash them.
The condoms? You wash the condoms? Blair repeated blankly.
Jim nodded abashedly.
I wash all the lubes and spermicides and chemical residue off them, he said. Then all I have to worry about is lube, because some of the water-based ones give me trouble.
Oh, wow, man, Blair said, shaking his head ruefully. What a pain in the ass. Well, at least I bet none of your dates ever griped about you taking too many risks.
It wasnt so bad, Jim said, shrugging. I mean, Im one person who never had to worry about loss of sensitivity. But lube was always a problem. I had kind of a scanty sex life.
Wow. Blair shook his head again. Listen, I think it would be a real good idea for us to keep a running list of all these things that bother you. I mean, Id really, really hate it if I somehow hurt you in the name of sex.
Well do that, Jim said gratefully. But like I said, most of it probably wont come up so much with you. Youve pretty much stopped wearing aftershave or cologne since youve lived here. He chuckled. And Ive never known you to use feminine hygiene spray.
Well, no, he said. Bad?
Chief, I damned near passed out, Jim said with a sigh. My lungs just closed up.
Blair was silent for a long moment, turning the condom package over in his fingers. At last he looked up.
You know, he said slowly, if you want to skip these, Im okay with it. I mean, since weve already gone over the health part and the cleanliness part.
A hot, wondering joy swelled up in Jims chest until he thought hed burst with it.
Are you sure about that, Chief? he said softly.
Yeah. Blair smiled suddenly, and abruptly the sun rose inside Jims loft. You and me, Big Guy. Just us for the long haul. Im good with that if you are.
Jim swallowed hard around the lump that had formed in his throat.
Im definitely good with that, he said hoarsely. But I never thought I never dreamed that you
Hey. Hey, Blair said, reaching up to caress Jims cheek. Dont let the long string of dates fool you. You think Ive ever lived with anybody for three years before in my life? Man, the way Naomi liked to travel, and the string of friends shed leave me with, Im not so sure I ever lived with her for three years running. And of the two of us, Im the one that took the permanent step here, right? He turned slightly on his side, touching his buttock through the covers illustratively. Even if I had to be drunk to do it.
You, Jim said, chuckling wryly, are too good to be true.
Says the gorgeous hunk of muscle sitting naked on the edge of the bed, Blair teased. Then he gazed at Jim more seriously. Hey, Big Guy, you promised to keep me warm, and its getting pretty lonely under these covers. I thought I was promised some kissing and cuddling. And then I think its high time that my man deflowered me.
Woops there went Jims IQ again as his entire blood supply migrated to the southern hemisphere. He slid under the covers on autopilot, dimly aware that there was something else hed meant to talk to Blair about, something important but he couldnt think of that, couldnt think of anything but the small hot body in his arms, the searing lips against his, the insistent tongue that met his, the hands that stroked, caressed, explored hesitantly at first, then with more confidence at his unequivocal response.
Oh, man, Blair breathed against Jims earlobe, nearly sending Jim into meltdown. Oh, man, oh, man, Jim, what happens with a Sentinel if his Guides the one who zones out?
A good Sentinel, Jim murmured against the thin skin of Blairs throat, which he was licking on his journey down Blairs torso again, would never let that happen.
Despite Blairs enthusiasm, Jim knew that his Guide was at least a little nervous, and Jim had every intention of melting the last vestiges of that nervousness in the heat he was generating between them. There were no superfluous scents or flavors on his Guide now, not Simons cigar smoke or the penetrating residual odor from Browns inevitable pastrami sandwiches or the Pledge the cleaning lady used to dust Jims desk and chair, nothing but the unscented soap and shampoo Blair had taken to using and the relatively unfiltered aroma and taste of Blair Sandburg, the salt tang of his sweat, the heady musk of arousal seeping out of his pores.
Jim? Jim, Blair panted. Dont zone on me, man.
Jim shuddered and realized that hed had his face buried in the crease of Blairs left thigh, licking, nuzzling the sensitive skin there for God knows how long. He turned his head, brushing Blairs leaking erection with light, soft kisses, but despite Blairs moan of pleasure he didnt want to finish Blair this way again. Maybe it was selfish; if so, he couldnt help it. But hed wanted Blair so much, waited so long, that now he felt the need to stake his claim on Blair here and now.
Ready to turn over, Chief? he murmured huskily, wincing inwardly. God, surely he could have come up with something more romantic than that. But Blair didnt seem to mind, and he flipped over immediately, then yelped as he landed on his erection.
Raise up a minute, Jim said, sliding a pillow under Blairs hips to take the weight off his hard cock. The sight of his Guide stretched out naked on his flannel sheets, his ass slightly raised, all there and all for him, was so potent that Jim had to fight down a zoneout. Dear God, an all-you-can-eat buffet at Wonderburger couldnt look this scrumptious.
Jim? Blair murmured uncertainly.
Jim moved suddenly over Blair, rubbing against the firm warmth of Blairs back, brushing Blairs hair aside so he could nibble at the back of Blairs neck and shoulders again. He surreptitiously grabbed the tube of lubricant.
So beautiful, he whispered huskily. You dont know how Ive dreamed of doing this, of feeling you here against me like this.
He licked and sucked his way down Blairs spine, reveling in every soft moan, every tremor. He remembered what Blair had told him and lingered at the small of Blairs back, nibbling on little patches of flesh, sucking wetly until the gooseflesh broke out all over Blairs skin and his Guide trembled helplessly. He pressed Blairs buttocks gently apart, breathing warm air across the tender flesh, but when he bent to press a gentle kiss inside the crevice Blair pushed his head up, shuddering.
Jim, wait, wait, dont
Jim raised his head reluctantly.
You dont like that? It turns you off?
No, no, man Blairs voice was distinctly shaky. Nobodys ever Jim, please, Im afraid Ill come, and the next time I come I want it to be with you inside me. Please?
Whatever you say, Blair, Jim whispered, and bent to press one light kiss to the clean little pucker before he turned his attention to the tube of lubricant. Squeezing a generous portion out onto his fingers, he returned to his slow, tantalizing licks over the small of Blairs back as with one finger he gently stroked a liberal coating of lube over the tight opening.
He expected a certain amount of nervousness, even outright fear, but Blair only moaned, spreading his legs wider to grant Jim easier access. Jim paused to get more lube, then carefully eased one finger in, pausing to gauge Blairs reaction. Blair tensed slightly but didnt protest.
Okay, Chief? Jim asked softly, holding his finger still. Am I hurting you?
Doesnt hurt, just Blair groaned and buried his face in his forearms. Just feels so strange
If you want me to stop, just say so, Jim said, carefully easing his finger a little deeper, exploring
WhoaOHHHH! A shudder shook Blairs entire body and Blairs head came up slightly again. Ohmanohmanohman thats good
Jim chuckled and withdrew his finger despite Blairs moan of protest; then Blair moaned again as two fingers returned to gently massage his prostate. By the time Jim had three fingers moving easily inside his Guide, Blair was reduced to nonsense words and incoherent groans, and from the way Blair was pushing back against his fingers and humping the pillow, Jim drew the conclusion that Blair was definitely ready to move on.
Yesyesyes Nooooooo! Blair groaned in protest as Jim withdrew his fingers.
Easy, Chief, easy, Jim said. Its not the end of the game, just a timeout to make a substitution, okay?
Blair looked back over his shoulder, and Jim was struck immediately by the raw pagan beauty of his Guide, his hair wild and stuck to his back and temples with the fresh sweat of passion, his eyes even wilder and dark with arousal, his face flushed, lips swollen. Jim wondered if hed ever seen a more erotic sight in his life.
Hurry, Blair urged hoarsely. Im not scared anymore, I just want it so bad.
I know, baby, Jim panted, fumbling with the tube of lubricant. He coated his own erection thickly, reminding himself sternly that however eager he and Blair were, he was not going to rush and hurt his beloved Guide. Turn over on one side, baby. Itll be easier the first time.
Blair rolled over on his side, whimpering with eagerness when Jim spooned up behind him. Jim guided the tip of his cock into place, fighting down the desperate hunger welling up inside him, hastily grabbing Blairs hips when Blair tried to push back against him.
Hey, easy there, Chief, he whispered. Were going to take this nice and slow, okay?
Oh, mannn, Blair complained, holding still anyway. Ive been scared ever since this morning scared youd find out about the tattoo, scared youd figure out how I felt about you, scared you couldnt feel that way about me, scared of making love with a man for the first time, scared of letting you inside me now for the first time all day Im not scared and youre, like, trying to kill me with frustration. Come on, man, the millennium is coming faster than I am here!
Jim had to laugh at that, and thank God the laughter took the edge off his desire enough for him to calm down slightly. Taking advantage of Blairs relaxation and the element of surprise, he eased just barely into Blair.
Instantly Blair went rigid, all over, trembling violently.
Oh, he gasped. Oh Jim
Shhh, easy, baby, Jim whispered in Blairs ear, reaching around to stroke Blairs leaking erection. Are you okay? Do you need me to pull out?
No no, just Blair panted. Man, Im glad you didnt listen to my hurry up bullshit.
Am I hurting? Jim asked worriedly.
No, just just oh God, Blair groaned as Jim eased just a little deeper. Stop a minute, just stay still, let me get used to you, okay? Man, when I called you Big Guy I didnt realize I was psychic.
Too much for you? Jim whispered.
Never, Blair said firmly. Just give me a minute. Just ooooh, yeah, I love the way you touch me.
As desire built, Blair slowly relaxed, and Jim eased just as slowly inside him, gently, as easily as breathing, until to his wonder Blairs buttocks pressed firmly against his groin and his entire length was held securely within the tight heat of his Guide. Blair was trembling again, moaning softly, his heart thundering, but from the smell of Blairs desire and the excited throbbing of the hard flesh in Jims hand, he knew that neither the trembling nor the moaning was inspired by pain or fear.
Oh, man, I cant believe it, Blair breathed. Youre inside me, I cant believe were doing this, I cant believe Im really here doing this with you after all this time
Jim groaned, aroused beyond the capacity for coherent speech, letting his body speak for him and praying that his Guide would understand as he always did. He sucked hotly at the back of Blairs neck and released Blairs cock, trailing his hand up the firm expanse of his Guides sweaty belly and chest. He loved the soft dark curls on Blairs skin, so different from his own smooth chest, loved the sweet thunder of his heart, that smell that was so uniquely Blair, the taste of his skin.
His fingers brushed over Blairs nipple, which instantly hardened into a tight little bud, and Jim felt the gold ring threaded through the little bump of flesh. He explored the ring with his fingers, tugging gently, and Blair cried out, pushing back against him.
Oh, God, Jim, move, please move, Blair begged, his fingers digging into the sheets. That was all the encouragement Jim needed, and he withdrew slowly, then pressed firmly in again. When Blair only moaned with pleasure, he repeated the movement, again, again then he was moving smoothly, firmly, Blair pushing back against him, and the desire was building again, hot, strong
Jim, wait, Jim, please
It took a long moment and several hard thrusts for Blairs words to reach Jims desire-fogged brain, another moment before he could coordinate enough brain cells for verbalization.
Whats something wrong?
I want to move too, Jim, please, Blair gasped. Can we please wanna move, need to
Thank God it didnt need coherent thought, just instinct, for Jim to grab Blair, hold him securely and roll them over so that Blair was under him. A little awkwardly they both got their knees under them and then Blair was rocking back against Jim while he thrust. The incredible sight of his Guide on hands and knees, head back, eyes closed and face taut with passion, was all it took to push the last vestige of civilization from Jims mind, and he gripped Blairs hips firmly and thrust hard and deep, rubbing firmly over Blairs prostate.
Blair screamed with pleasure and his muscles clamped down around Jim like a vise; Jim howled and wrapped his arms around Blair, pulling him up and back onto his lap, drove deep inside his Guide. Blair responded with another scream of abandon and a jittering motion of his hips as he pumped out his pleasure that drove Jim into complete meltdown. Jim gave a last roar of passion, spurting hotly into his Guide, and sank his teeth into the large muscle of Blairs shoulder as the world exploded for them both.
Jim opened his eyes slowly, groaning. His face was buried in Blairs sweaty hair and his mouth was full of it. He gradually realized that he was lying full weight on top of his apparently unconscious Guide, who, thankfully, was nonetheless still breathing. Slowly, carefully, he withdrew his spent cock from his Guides body, glancing down anxiously and sighing with relief when he saw no blood. He moved over to one side and settled down comfortably, his head propped up on one hand, to watch his Guide sleep, still stunned by what had happened.
Hed made love to Blair. No, hed made love with Blair. He loved Blair and Blair loved him.
Blair had Jims mark tattooed on his ass.
Jim glanced down at the tattoo and grinned, blessing that moment of drunken inspiration that had started it all. It was, after all, a beautiful tattoo.
Blair stirred sleepily and shivered at the loss of Jims body heat, instinctively rolling over and cuddling up against Jims chest. Jim pulled the covers up over both of them and slid his arm around Blair, pulling him close. Blair mumbled something contentedly; then his forehead wrinkled slightly and his eyes opened, gazing drowsily into Jims.
Uh hi, he said, smiling shyly.
Hi, Jim said, chuckling.
What? Blair asked a little anxiously.
Nothing. Im just trying to come up with another miraculously perfect comment for the occasion, Jim grinned. He stroked Blairs hair. I was actually thinking what a hell of a time were going to have getting this combed out. And that I sure do love you.
Blairs eyes all but glowed.
I love you too, he said. He squirmed closer, then winced.
Sore, Chief? Jim asked softly.
Blairs forehead wrinkled again.
Man, I can see why my ass might be a little bit sore, he said. But my shoulder?
Then Jim remembered, and his own smile faded. He gently brushed Blairs hair aside and winced as he saw the dark bruise, the clear impression of teeth pressed into the skin. Hed almost drawn blood.
Oh, God, Chief, Im so sorry, he whispered. I bit you.
Blair explored the place with his fingertips, then chuckled.
Wow, he said. You sure did. Wild man. Then he caught Jims expression. Hey, Jim, its okay. Whats the matter?
I was afraid something like that might happen, Jim muttered, unable to meet Blairs eyes. That Id get out of control. It almost happened once before. He swallowed. I tried to tell you in the shower, but you uh distracted me. And then I tried to tell you again when we came up here, but you
Distracted you again, Blair grinned. He reached out to stroke Jims cheek. Hey, Big Guy. Its okay. Its so very okay. Wed been building up to this for a hell of a long time. Maybe you needed to, like, stake a claim, huh?
Maybe. Jim forced himself to meet Blairs eyes. But what if its not not an isolated incident?
Welllllll Blair grinned, pretending to think it over. We could stuff a roll of socks in your mouth. Or I could take you I mean, its pretty hard for you to bite if your face is buried in a pillow and Im behind you. Of course, Ive got a better idea.
Oh, yeah? Jim asked warily.
Maybe Ill just wear tank tops so I can show these bites off proudly, Blair chuckled.
Jim groaned and flopped back on the bed. Blair slid up so he was half lying over Jim, propped comfortably on his chest.
Jim, Ive got to ask, man, Blair said softly. Its going to be you and me, right? Just us, all the way?
Happiness swelled up hot and tight in Jims heart until it shortened his breath.
Just us, all the way, he repeated. I dont think I could handle it any other way, Chief. Then a pang of anxiety. Are you all right with that?
Its, like, a major lifestyle change, but Im good with it, Blair said softly. Are you all right knowing that Im not much of an actor?
Jim took a deep breath as he realized what Blair meant. Blairs love life had always been pretty much an open book at the U, in the loft, in the bullpen. His Guide in the throes of infatuation or sheer lust or, most likely, love was not very good at hiding his feelings.
Im not planning on making an announcement, Jim said quietly. If our friends find out, they find out. He reached up and stroked Blairs hair. But youd better be careful around the commissioner.
They cant throw you off the force for being gay, he said.
No, but he can revoke your observer status or make you ride with somebody else, Jim said gently. Significant others arent allowed to ride together.
Wow. Blair bit his lip. In that case, I guess I can learn a little discretion at the right times. He smiled. Its whats underneath that counts anyway.
His hand crept slowly under the covers, sliding down Jims torso.
And speaking of whats underneath
Jim groaned as Blair caressed his still rather sticky cock, which, to his utter amazement, began showing new signs of life.
Chief, youre going to kill me, he murmured, pulling Blair more firmly on top of him, then winding his fingers in Blairs tangled hair to drag Blairs mouth down to his. But what a way to go.
So tell me, Blair murmured as he worked the wizardry of love and touch on Jims body, Ever thought of getting a tattoo? Maybe something like a wolf
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